College Poop Story

A girl I knew in college and her friends toilet papered our room when we were gone, becuase we were trusting (perhaps slightly naive) individuals and left our door unlocked. When we got back and started cleaning up the toilet paper, I decied that I should return it to them ... with the only logical "present" that I could think of ... the very thing that toilet paper is used for ... a big pile of shit. I brewed a pot of coffee, ate a few Taco Bell bean burritos, brought the toilet paper in the bathroom, layed it on the floor, hovered over it, and dropped the smelliest shit I've ever been around. It was my own poop, but I thought I was going to vomit. We put the "present" and toilet paper in a brown paper bag to return it to the ladies, and brought the bag into their apartment. We told them that we forgave them for toilet papering our room, but wanted to bring the TP back to them, due to the rising cost of TP (inflation) and that we thought they would simply want it back. It took about 1.5 seconds for them to figure out what was going on (possibly the rancid smell that was wilting the flowers in their apartment or the fact that TP does not weigh 6 lbs), and we bolted as fast as we could. Surprisingly, she and her acomplises, didn't think it was nearly as funny as we did.