Subway and the Colostomy Bag

I had recently had an emergency colostomy, where you crap in a bag hanging off your belly. my niece was good enough to help me care for this new process since i only had use of one hand from a disabling stroke. as the story goes my niece and i decided to meet with a group of my friends at the local subway. we were sitting eating our sandwiches when i noticed a putrid odor surrounding the table and then felt something bubbling and wet on my side. eventually I excused myself and asked my niece to join me in the bathroom where we discovered the unthinkable - the bag had come loose and there was shit all over. by all over i mean it filled my undies and ran down my leg. but, thankfully we had an emergency kit with us. i suggested we cut the sides of the underwear and pull them out rather than try to remove them. bad idea. as we removed the underwear shit flew all over the stall walls, the door and the bathroom floor. my niece was laughing hysterically because not only where my undies full of shit they were also leopard print. after fixing me and my bag up we disposed of the sexy drawers in the trash and began cleaning the bathroom. my niece got the floor duty and was on her hands and knees cleaning up all ready gross floor with toilet paper and water. bless her heart. after mostly smearing the floor shit around we decided it was time to recompose ourselves and go back out to our friends but, much to my chagrin, that nasty smell now permiated the entire restaurant. all of us decided it was time to go - asap! i sat in the car mortified for a few minutes, but eventually we all laughed about how nasty it was and we all held vigil to see if we could detect another problem with my bag.