Stairway to Heaven

I was in the grocery store when the earlier beers from the golf course suddenly hit me. I went to check the bathroom in the store but of course it was locked. Upon that discovery I darted, with very tight buns, out of the store and into my car leaving my cart of food in the middle of the store. From there I drove about a mile, running every stop sign, to get home to my third floor apartment. I got to the last set of the steep steps and I started leaking. Fumbling with my keys I leaked some more. I was wearing shorts so I was making an incredible and putird smelling mess. Finally I got the door open and I started leaking really bad.....more like pouring. I sprinted through the kitchen leaving a trail all the way to the bathroom. The trail started on my legs and ran all the way from the top of the stairs to my toilet. There would be no denying it. I spent the rest of the night mopping up the stairs and floors in shame.
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Pennies Poop Tale

I was heading to the mall one day to make a quick stop at JCPenney when for whatever reason my mother decided she wanted to come along. The whole time she would not stop complaining. She kept swearing and saying "shit" constantly....now I know why. At one point she got mad at me and yelled so hard that she shit her pants. Now this wasn't your ordinary anal burp that you thought to be a fart. This was like a damn fire hose in the back of her pants spraying a putrid brown liquid. She rushed into the bathroom clutching her ass, which was obviously wet and not hard to miss for anyone who cared to look. When she came out, her pants were soaking wet. Obviously, I couldn't very well go into the ladies room but I have significant doubts to her story. She claims that she was able towash them in the sink and clean herself because no one was in the restroom BUT, I seem to recall three horrified people coming out of the bathroom a few seconds after she went in and no one else dared go in.
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