Shitty Stories

My story is quite a bit more common than most people think. It was a Friday night and I was playing bingo with my girlfriend when my earlier consumed fish fry took a turn for the worst. I dashed for the restroom and attempted to relieve the trout back to the oceans when an unexpected cramp expelled some mushy wet turd balls before I could get my self properly fixated on the seat. The remnants of hurricane Linda left the stall in a total brown out. I cleaned myself up as best as I could, as to not miss too many bingo games, and returned to play. As I played on my girlfriend apparently new something wasn't right because she started to gag, and dry heeve when she discovered the dabber she was using to play bingo had a rotten stench to it. A closer look revealed that it had some fecal matter , probably from my poorly cleaned fingers' on it. I must of accidently grabbed her bingo dabber and left my scent on it. Well, suffice to say, my girlfriend ran into the bathroom that I just totally destroyed and realized what I did, she abruptly left me at the hall and I had to call my sister Nancy to pick me up. Good news though, I got away from the mess clean and clear and also won 20.00 at bingo!!