The Shit Detective: First Responder

I am a police officer, and while on patrol, I had saw a gathering of
pedestrians outside the doorway of a building. I suspected there had
been a stabbing, shooting, or something to attract the attention of
this crowd. I came over doing my usual routine, telling them to step
aside and let the "professionals" do the work, when to my horror, I
laid my eyes upon the bloodiest, corniesest shit I've ever seen in the middle of the street.

It was disgusting. Lumps of blooded corn were
all over the concrete about a half a foot in diameter, and the crowd
erupted in laugher. I desperately tried to convince them they
misunderstood me and that I am not the “professional” of dealing
with bloody corn shit. My partner in the car where I parked emerged as
he noticed the laughter coming from the crowd, and joined in on the
shit-gag. Since that day, I have never gone one day at the station
without being referred to as the “Shit Detective”.