
My friend David was shopping for cards at a local Target department store near Charleston, SC and was in fact on the greeting card aisle perusing the selection of cards, carrying a handheld shopping cart when suddenly the urge struck. David quickly dropped his cart, clenched his throbbing butt cheeks and made an urgent dash to the restrooms in the front of the store.
David barely made it to the first stall and got seated before there was an explosion like a mighty river of liquid fire bursting forth from his loins into the mighty Target bowl. Before he knew what struck him, the everpresent flow of his bowels erupted forth filling the bowl with a force like no other. As David was moaning and writhing with gut wrenching spasms, he heard a meek young voice from outside the stalls.......
"Ewwwww, daddy, smells like poo!" the young voice strongly proclaimed. David sulked in his stall hanging his head in shame and waited until the young boy and his father left the bathroom. David quickly exited the stall and darted from the bathroom and out the front door of Target, never to purchase the greeting cards he originally sought to buy.
To this day, David has ambivalent feelings about entering the portals of Target as the ambiguous emotions surrounding the events of that day inevitably come flooding back into his mind.....much like that mighty river of liquid fire that came spewing forth like molten lava from his buttocks that fateful day.






8 comments:
I know this dude, and he is still pooping all over down. We think its a nervous condition. He has to carry Imodium A-D with him everywhere!!
Poor ole' David. I heard that he's finally had to resort to wearing a Depend undergarment. It is most definitely a nervous condition. I feel for him!
As the father of the child, I would like more info on this "David" person, as his poisonous cloud of gas has stunted the growth of my child forever.
Hmmm. I hope that's not my Target store near Charleston. And I know you were trying so hard to use big words, but "ambiguous" does not mean what you think it does.
i am the young boy, I remember the smell to this day and as a result I am nasally impaired.
Thanks so much to the person who posted on 11/22/2009, but I'm not a product of a Charleston County Public School, so I do indeed know the meaning of ambiguous and used it in the context in which I intended. I appreciate your concern though as it is well founded given the fact that South Carolina continues to lead the nation in educational excellence.
I think the person who posted on 11/22/09 is likely thinking about his own genitalia when he makes reference to the proper use of the word "ambiguous." You go boy.....I mean girl.
I hate target. Should've pooped on the floor
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