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My brother likes to call it "1989" swearing it's the year this incident occurred. I would've been roughly ten years old. As a child, I had major anxiety. Each time my anxiety would rear its ugly head, a stomach ache/nausea would ensue. One early afternoon before my mother, brother, and I were about to go to my grandmother's pool, it hit me. It hit me hard. I rushed to the bathroom and exploded into the toilet. At one point, I realized that I was still feeling fairly nauseous and had to throw up. Since I thought I was done with the shitting, I stood up and turned around to face the toilet and throw up.
Much to mine and my mother's astonishment, my arse was not quite finished yet. Thus, my mother made me fully aware (as she was trying to calm me) that as I was puking in the toilet, my bowels were emptying on the floor. I had no idea this was even going on until she told me. The icing on the cake came right afterwards: My then seven year old brother witnessed our old dog licking some of it up before it got cleaned. I think we're all scarred for life.
Friday
The poop story of 1989
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3 comments:
I too had to give birth on the way to work after ingesting a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, strong coffee, etc. I'm halfway down the street when I get these sharp labor pains in my stomach. At age 51, it could not be a baby coming through. Sure enough, it felt like it was going to emplode through my asshole. I tried in vain to make into the local nearby church but I just lost it. I farted heartily and out popped a hot mixture of solids and slop, all the way down my legs and into my shoes, staining my new black pants. Even though the pants were black, you could still see the shit stains through them. I still felt like I had to go, so next came the afterbirth. I ended up charging into the nearby Subway restaurant and into the bathroom. I shit like a cow and let it rip. Some of it hit the floor too. After I finally finished, I must have shit for 3 minutes straight, I noticed the shit had smoke coming out of it and pieces of whole corn in it. I ate corn the day before and thought I chewed it up okay, yet it came out whole. What is that? Anyhoo, I cleaned up the floor and my shoes and socks as best I could and waddled over to the Sally Ann to get a new pair of pants. I didn't have much money. Nobody there looked at me when I walked in. They must be used to the aroma of shit. I finally found a new pair of stretch brown pants and tossed the soiled pants, etc. into the garbage. I can still hear the choking sounds of the toilet when I finished and flushed. What a beating it took that day!
ummm...ew
ummmm...eww
did you really need to include SOO many details?
both of you. i mean really.
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