Spicy Camping Squirt

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My buddys and I went camping one summer, and my friend packed a bunch of his fresh grown haberno peppers to cook with. We all love to eat spicy, little did I know that my anus prefers blander food. Anyway, we were sitting around the campfire drinking beers, about an hour after we had finished a delicious meal of bratwurst with spicy grilled haberno peppers when I felt the urge to fart. Now, this was a guys trip and we all prided ourselves on how loud or how stinky our gaseous emissions could be, so I gauged myself. The pressure in my stomach felt volcanic and I just happened to be sitting on a pretty flat log, so I thought I could make a real loud trumpet fart that would impress my friends (especially Billy!) I clenched my butt-cheeks for maximum pressure release and @ the opportune moment let loose my supposed masterpiece. Instantaneously, I felt a stream of spicy liquid shit propel from my anus. My look of triumph quickly turned to one of horror, when instead of a hearing the loud vibrato, my ass sounded like a drunk chick peeing on a rock. The worst part that I was wearing shorts and the spicy liquid shit that burned ran down both my legs and into my sandals. As I got up to run to the woods, my slippery shitty sandals betrayed me and I tripped, landed on my ass, and shit a little bit more in my pants.