So, I was at work in the newsroom in Los Angeles, talking on the phone with an associate on the East Coast. I had a violent sneeze for which I apologized. In the next few seconds I realized something had gone terribly wrong. I exclaimed, "I gotta go!" when, apparently, I already had. And it wasn't just a small leakage of the rectal cavity it was a full-blown explosion the covered not just the crack, but my ass cheeks, as well. When I arose from my Herman Miller chair, I realized that my underpants were soaked and it was leaking down my legs, infusing my Levi's 501's. I made it to the bathroom as fast as I could to rip off the clothing. It took nearly a roll of toilet paper to clean-up the initial damage. The underwear were a total loss and were stashed at the bottom of the bathroom garbage. Then using some paper towels and water, I cleaned the 501's the best I could. I re-dressed, sans underwear, and headed for home calling my friend to explain what happened. He was laughing so hard he almost shit himself! When I arrived at home I realized the shit had had also tainted T-Shirt. I took off the close and hosed them down in the alley, before putting them in the washing machine. I threw myself in the shower and was back at work before anyone knew I was gone. Give new meaning to the phrase, "Same Shit, different day!"
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