Fart Contest gone wrong......

When I was 17, 4 of us went camping in the woods at one of the guy's grandparents farm. Of course, we had managed to get a case of Blue Ribbon. After a few hours, most of the beer was gone and we were all sitting around the campfire, feeling no pain. My best friend lifted his butt off the ground and ripped a loud fart. In our intoxicated state, that seemed like the funniest thing ever. Then one of the others let one go, producing more laughter. Soon we were all trying to outdo each other. Then it happened. I felt what I thought was a good one building up. I lifted my butt and gave a mighty push to maximize the sound. Instead of farting, I pooped in my pants. I guess the smell, plus the look on my face gave me away, because they all started laughing at me and teasing me about messing my pants. The guys have all called me stinky ever since.
Continue

Read More...

Shit in the News....

"Man Attacks His Lawyer In Court With Feces"

A mistrial was declared Monday when a home-invasion robbery suspect smeared human feces on his attorney's face then threw more at the jury.

Weusi McGowan, 37, was upset because San Diego Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Fraser refused to remove Deputy Alternate Public Defender Jeffrey Martin from the case, prosecutor Christopher Lawson said.

At the mid-morning break, McGowan produced a plastic baggie filled with fecal matter and spread it on Martin's hair and face, then flung the excrement toward the jury box, hitting the briefcase of juror No. 9 but missing the juror himself.

"That juror didn't even see it coming," Lawson said.

The prosecutor said the defendant was compliant after the outburst and was taken into custody without further incident.

After lunch, Fraser dismissed the jury, telling them McGowan would have to get a new lawyer and that his trial would be delayed.

The judge scheduled a status conference for Feb. 9 and raised the defendant's bail from $250,000 to $1 million, finding he is a danger to the community.

Lawson said McGowan originally became upset last week when he claimed one of the jurors saw him in shackles as he entered the courtroom. Fraser dismissed all jurors who saw the defendant in shackles, the prosecutor said.

"The judge had been very fair," Lawson said. "All jurors who saw it were dismissed."
Fraser had also denied McGowan's attempt to represent himself, saying the request was untimely, Lawson said.

The prosecutor said the defendant had previously wiped human feces on himself and was examined by doctors to ensure he was mentally competent to stand trial.

McGowan is charged with kidnapping for robbery, assault with a deadly weapon and other counts and could face assault charges in connection with the attack on his attorney and jury, Lawson said.

The prosecutor said the defendant hit a man with a rock in a sock as the victim came out of his home to investigate a commotion on Oct. 17, 2007.

McGowan allegedly ransacked the man's apartment then stole some of the victim's belongings and took off in the victim's car.

He was arrested 20 minutes later, Lawson said.
From perezhilton.com
Continue

Read More...

Shit in the Movies...

From The Savages....


Continue

Read More...

For your friends.....

Continue

Read More...

I shit in MY OWN hands....

I haven't shit myself since i was a kid until today. I was at the mall really early, before it even opened for work. I had come in very early to stock merchandise and assign cash registers to my employees. I felt like i had to take a crap, but i figured i could wait a few minutes for the next person to come in so i could leave the store without worry. As soon as one of my employees arrived, i made a mad dash for the public bathroom...Unfortunately when i got there, it was out of order. PANIC!! I knew there was another bathroom on the other side of the mall. So i hobbled across the mall half running half walking since i was not sure which style would best prevent me from crapping. I felt like i had to fart and figured that it would relieve some of the pressure. I hobbled towards the bathroom with like 100 yards to go and instead of a fart i started prairie dogging. I put my hand down the back of my pants and tried to cup all the crap in my boxers and my hand. i got to that bathroom and IT WAS LOCKED FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES!. Since i had no other options, I ran into the womans bathroom which was open for some reason, and finally made it to a toilet. There was shit all over my boxers, the inside of my pants, and some on my shoe that had traveled down my pant leg. I threw away my boxers, did my best to wipe up the shit on my pant and shoes, and felt like killing myself. While cleaning myself up i somehow managed to get shit all over the toilet seat, which i also did my best to clean up. it took two rolls of toilet paper and alot of praying to god no one would come in while i was running to the sink to wet some napkins to clean myself with. In the end i was actually pretty impressed by the great job i did concealing the fact that i shit my pants. The smell was barely noticeable from a normal distance, and there were no visible stains. I went back to work, finished my shift, went home, and took a long hot shower. My leg had a rash on it and it was super sore. I need a fucking beer.
Continue

Read More...