Today we received our first video poop story submission! Recording a video of yourself telling a poop story takes some bowels. The story starts about a minute into the video.
Continue
First Video Poop Story Submission
I shat myself at Kmart
Once when i was 11, i ate at sizzlers and was struck with a mean case of diarrhea. i thought i would be able to hold it because we were heading home but on the way my parents decided to pull in to kmart. Much to my dismay, they proceeded to wander the store for what felt like an eternity. After a good while, I considered the probability that I would not make it home and so i went looking for the bathroom. Once i found it, I was horrified to discover that they were all occupied. So i left and told my parents i had gone. We walked around for a bit more and then headed back to the car. My dad was just unlocking the doors when i realized that I had no time left, i needed to find a toilet bad. I made a mad dash to back into the store but on the way i could not hold it any longer and it came streaming down my legs, falling out of my shorts. By the time I actually sat down on a toilet i was done. Not fun explaining that one to my parents.
Continue
Her Burning Shit Story
As you may already know, i have a severe addiction to diet coke. On Sunday, I came to realize we had run out of it only after i had returned from Georgios with a delicious piece of tomatoe and pesto pizza. I ate the pizza accompanied by a glass of water but found this unsatisfying, so after i was finished I decided it was a very crucial matter for me to acquire a can of dc so i began the trek to 7-11. In my haste for that nutra-sweet, i forgot to consider that I had been unable to eat any amount of food for the past 2 weeks without a dash to the bathroom immediately after its consumption. As i walked to the store, my stomach began to rumble, but i thought its only 2 blocks... ill make it. By the time i reached the stores parking lot, the cramping had set in. I knew it was a matter of urgency but my need for diet coke prevented me from turning around and making the mad dash home. I walked in 3 people in line... no big deal.. ill be in and out. I thought of grabbing a little snack while i was there for later but after i close the cooler door i knew there was no time.... I reached the counter... and was confronted with the biggest loser hippy employee 7-11 has ever seen. He tormented each customer as they came... and had no sense of urgency in his dealings. I waited what felt like 4 minutes... pondering where the nearest toilet would be... i knew there was not one in 7-11... i eyed the parking structure across the street... could i really take the chance? Finally it was my turn, i threw the money at the cashier and made a split decision...my only chance was to make it home. I walked/ran home at an unprecedented speed. Ran in the back door... only to hear the voice of a male on the porch... could i really risk a boy coming upstairs after i had eleviated myself.. the answer was yes... i ran up the stairs only to hear another male friend's voice in my roommmates bedroom just inches from the bathroom... knowing this boy the way i do.. i knew it would not be safe to shit in his vicinity, surely a comment would be made if he discovered what i had just done..... so i ran in the bathroom, grabbed a roll of toilet paper (thank god i had the foresight) and headed the bathroom downstairs... no one ever goes down there.. i would be safe. I flipped the switch to the bathroom... it began to flicker.. and as i rushed in, it turned out. I could not shit in the pitch black.. that ifelt was just asking for trouble... but what could i do?... i couldnt go back upstairs... i would need a new light bulb... and FAST. i rushed around the basement looking for lite that had easy access.... as there was only 2 to choose from i chose the one without a fixture over it. I couldnt turn the light out before i ripped it out of its socket bc the light switch was upstairs and hter ewas certainly no time to rush back to the top of the stairs.. so i grabbed a stray shirt from the dryer to use to shield my hand from the burns that would surely be delivered if i touched it with my barehand. I unscrewed it and in my frantic state shifted it from the the hand with the tshirt to the other scolding my fingers... but there was no time for burn treatment so i ran into the dark bathroom... and was confronted with a light fixture hanging by several oddly placed screws... i ripped the screws out, i dont even think i turned them and screwed the new light bulb on with the speed of an electrician. Finally i sat on the toilet,.. while at the same time nursing my burnt hand....
Continue
Why ALL bathrooms should be Public
Late one summer night I was at a store buying a drink when this woman ran in all crazy and sweaty. When she got the clerks attention she asked if she could use the restroom. The clerk replied that the restroom was not for the public and he was sorry for any inconvience.(Not nearly as sorry as he was going to be) After the clerk's response the women replied where the hell do you want me to go....then she answered her own question. After verbally assaulting the clerk the women shit in her blue jeans right there in front of the counter. Excrement ran down her legs like a waterfall and puddled up on her Chuck Taylors. After surveying the mess the woman looked at the cashier and said "See what you made me do" then darted to her car and took off. The best part was another customer that was waiting in line asked the clerk for the restroom key with the ultimatum if he didn't give him the key immediately he was going to do the same thing. Needless to say the clerk could not hand the key over fast enough.
Continue Read More...
Poop Tarts
Every year a group of my high school friends and I take a weekend trip and go camping. The second year of the trip I was sitting around the fire with a friend of mine discussing what we were going to do for breakfast the next morning and it came up that one of our friends's loves Pop Tarts. Once we realized we had been talking about breakfast for 30 minutes one of the guys, probably to counter act the lameness of our conversation, suggested someone shit into a Pop Tart box so our friend would get an early morning eye opener. After thinking for close to 3 seconds, I realized he was correct: I HAVE to shit into the Pop Tart box.
I took the box by the fire and laid a log that would make a lumberjack proud then put the box into the screened tent were we gathered for meals. Unfortunately, we were still passed out when our buddy woke up and found his breakfast treat so we did not get to see his horrified face. But, we did get to hear his tirade because not onlyu did it wake the entire campground I think it woke my parents up 300 miles away. Apparently when he went for his Pop Tarts he did not look into the box first and got a handful of Poop Tarts. We never told anyone who did it and we carry the tradition on every summer to this day.
Continue
Mackin at Blimpies
One day in high school I was driving home from school and I made the mistake of attempting to slip out a little fart in an effort to make room for the lunch I was about to eat. I remember thinking at the time that it felt a little wet but I had that thought so many other times I just let it go. I got out of my car and went into Blimpies and while placing my order heard a ruckus from the other people in line. I turned around and noticed 4 or 5 people trying to conceal their laughter. I figured it had nothing to do with me so I continued on and paid for my meal. As I turned around to leave the store I heard more laughter but this time it was coming from the people behind the counter. My first thought was they spit in my food or something. I kind of wish they had. When I got home I was all set to eat my Blimpie special when my brother came in and said "What the hell is on your pants?". Immediately my thoughts turned to the wet car fart incident. When I regained my composure I made up some lie about sitting in Coke or something spectacularly lame like that. Unfortunately, him nor the rest of my family believed it.
Continue
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
