Shitty Train Ride


It was the last day of the semester and I couldn\'t wait to get home. I got to the train station with two friends and then it hit me, I had to take a shit. At this point I didn\'t think much of it and rejected the idea of going back into school to drop a load so I got on the train. Let\'s put things into perspective here, it\'s about a 40 minute train ride and afterwords a 20 minute bus ride to home. 15 minutes into the train ride I started squirming about in my seat. At this point I knew that not going back to school was one of the worst decision I have made in years. I loosened my belt to try to relieve the pressure but it did no good and I started to fart about every minute or so. As the train was pulling into my station I knew I couldn\'t wait for the transfer to the other train so I made the plan to bolt into a fast food restaurant. Just as the train was stopping, boom I shit my pants. I felt my boxers sag down as they were the only thing that was blocking the shit from sliding down my leg and into my shoes. As I exited the train as slowly as I could without causing too much attention to the passengers behind me and I started to climb the stairs ahead of me. The shit started to flow down my leg and I just knew the people behind me could smell it all. Once I was out of the station I saw a Dunkin\' Donuts across the street. Usually these kind of establishments only allow the use of their restrooms to customers so I ordered a Coffee Coolata and made my way to the back of the store. \"Excuse me, we do not have a restroom!\" Oh shit, what the hell am I going to do now. I paid for the Coffee Coolata and darted out the door looking for a place to clean up the disaster in my pants. As a I peered into several small restaurants I saw that they either had no restrooms or they were out of order, just my luck. Finally after about walking for three blocks I come across a very small Indian restaurant that had a open restroom. There were tables right next to the bathroom door and I knew these peoples meals were ruined. I got in and finished the shit that I started which took about three minutes. I peered into my jeans and saw that I needed to clear some of this shit out. I took off my shoes, jeans and boxers and started to scrape out the shit with cheapest 1 ply toilet paper you could find on the planet. I heard a knock on the door but I could care less. I decided to throw out my boxers into the garbage can and use my socks to clear out the shit in my pants. Before I knew it I was completely naked scraping shit out of jeans with my t-shirt. I heard another loud knock on the door when I realized there was no way of getting all the shit out of my jeans. I put my jeans back on, my shoes, my hoodie and my jacket. Everything else went inside the garbage can. I washed my hands, flushed the toilet, put my hood on and bolted out of the store. Free at last I thought but what am I going to do next, I still smell like a barn. I had to get back on the train and thankfully it was already at the station. I got in and knew the people around could sense my stench so I made a disgusted face and looked around trying to convince others that it could not possibly be me. Two stops later I got off and decided I would spare the citizens and not take the bus but walk home. About 10 minutes into my 30 min walk home my legs started to chafe from the shit rubbing against my thighs, it burned like hydrochloric acid. My only relief was that it was freezing and a couple of minutes later it was all numb. As I got to my street I saw there were no cars in front of my house meaning that there were no guests in my house and my parents were away. I took out my keys, got in my house and realized my brother and sister were home. My brother says \"Woah bro did you step in shit?\" I reply \"I don\'t know maybe, why does it smell?\" as I made my way to the bathroom. Once I got in I took off my clothes off. Shit was literally frozen onto my legs. I emptied my pockets and put my pants into a plastic bag along with my old shoes that were covered in a little bit of shit. I got in the shower and started to scrub the shit off my legs. As my legs defrosted I started to feel my chaffed thighs and they burned as the water flowed onto them. Twenty minutes later I got out, clean as a whistle. I went went to my room put some clean clothes on and threw out the plastic bag with my shit riddled pants and shoes in them. Thankfully my brother and sister did not realize what I did and the Febreeze along with an open window in my bathroom covered the stench up. I crawled into bed because I could not move due to my chaffed thighs and fell asleep.

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Pooing while driving



I had just left my sisters house after visiting with her new baby. It was about 40 mins to get back to my house. I felt a slight gurgle deep in my bowels but decided that it was not enough to warrant taking off my boots and hoodie and winter coat to come back into her house to take care of business. Boy was I wrong. After about 20 mins of denying that I had to go I had about 5 mins KNOWING that I had to go absolutely NOW! I took the first exit off the Hwy, it was for a college campus. Thoughts of an open cafeteria or faculty building filled my head until I entered the campus..., on Sunday..., the day after the biggest snow storm in 20 yrs. There was nothing open, and no one around. I immediately began looking for cover to do what I thought was the unthinkable, poo outside! as I pulled into an empty parking garage I went from praying to God to cursing Him in about 10 seconds. I had just done the REALLY unthinkable. I pooed in my pants while driving.
After stopping the car and contemplating what had just happened I gingerly got out and grabbed two blankets from the toolbox in the bed of my truck, one to sit on and one to wrap around me as I walked into the house. Oh, I had gone commando on this day also so I was back to praying to God that my roommates were nowhere to be seen and that nothing slipped out the bottom of my pants leg.


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Bad Day at School



It was a normal school day, all my friends were there. Because im apparently "underweight" the school pays for my meals free. Which is good but not great. So this one monday morning i had the cafe i had a full english breakfast, by the end of it i was so full, but i really liked it. This started a mini trend so i kept having these huge cafe meals at lunch and breakfast everyday. It was friday when i was sitting at a table with the guys i hang out with and a friend of mine handed me a cup of water from the dispenser, i thought nothing of it.

Then about 30 minutes after i had the drink, we were still at the table when i felt i really really HAD to poo. My tummy was groaning insanely and so i moaned to my friends "ohhhhhh, i have to poo!!!" I got up and ran to the nearest bathroom, they were out of order! So i waddled to the other side of the school and as i ran i felt some poo slipping out so i groaned some more. I found the bathroom and at this point i had my hands on my ass to stop the crap from rapidly coming out. I apparently had such a worried and scared look on my face according to my friends. When i sat on the toilet the ammount of gross gurgly noises i made was horrendous. I was farting continuously with all the poo. I heard some girls near the sinks saying "ewwww!" and then rushing out. I didn't really care, i had lossed all my dignity getting to the toilet anyway. I shouted "oh god, oh god, oh god!" as it was all still shoving out in a violent motion. As i put my knickers back on i realized that i made a mess in my panties anyway. I was thinking what made me poo so much, well i didnt crap in 5 days. But i was told by my best friend that some of my other friends played a prank on me and put laxatives in my drink!

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