Anyhow it is a 10hour flight.....the worst day of my life so far. We were two hours into the flight, when i needed to shit reallllly bad. "It must be that skittery arsed plane food!" i thought to myself. I stood up and shuffled past my wife who was sitting next to me.
I walked up the aisle towards the toilet when i noticed that there were around 5 other people waiting in queues at both ends of the plane waiting to use the toilet "oh no!" i thought as i farted. I started to bend my legs and clench my thighs together doing a bizarre dance almost...i didnt care how ridiculous i looked...i just didnt want to shit myself. then the inevitable happened......BANG! just like that my arse exploded....with not even a fart as warning.
everybody looked so disgusted as the putrid brown substance poured down the legs of my shorts and into my trainers. the odour was unbearable! we had another eight hours of the flight remaining and i had to go back to my seat, utterly mortified. my wife smelled the stench as i tried to get back into my seat.....using the air sickness bag in the pocket of the seat in front of her. And typically three quarters of the planes passengers were in the same hotel as me when we (eventually) reached Austrailia. UTTERLY MORTIFIED!!
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3 comments:
shart on your face! good!
sounds terrible! I feel so bad for you shitting your pants on an airplane especially of all places & sitting in it for 8 hours, you poor thing! I feel so bad for you! What I would do next time, is bring fresh clean clothes & have them with you, wipes, etc.
you should have had your wife n kids lick the shit off of your legs and snowball it to you YUM
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