We were the only ones in the state park that night. Kids were in year round school, so this trip was in October. Our campsite was about a 1/2 mile from the restrooms.
Anyway, we ate and I drank, had a good time. Then got settled into our sleeping bags in the tent and went to sleep.
About 4 hours later I woke with stomach cramps, which hit me in waves. I know too much food and drink, but didn't think it'd affect me like this. So I shifted, rolled over, in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort, all to no avail. Pain kept getting worse, pressure on the rectum was getting horrible, I started breaking out in a cold sweat. So I quietly slid out of the tent, figured I'd walk over to the restroom, let my system flush itself and then head back to relight the fire and make some coffee.
While heading over the restroom, I tripped on a rock and stumbled. This threw off my rectal concentration and before I knew it I'd shit myself with a load that must of weighed 5 lbs. I'm thinking holy cow, that actually felt good, stomach pains immediately alleviated. So then I figured might as well pee, cause that was also a major need. So now I'm standing in the woods at 5am with poop and pee all over me as if I was a 2 year old. Kind of amazing how good that felt, but that's a scary thought.
Luckily I had my van keys and was able to get an extra pair of clothes and a towel. Headed back to the restroom now with the intent to shower, clean up and change. Which I did, but there was no hot water. So I took a freezing shower, got dressed, washed my shit on and peed pants as much as possible, loaded them into a trash bag and stuck them in the bottom of the luggage area of the van. I made it a point to carry in the bags of clothes we had accumulated and start the washing, so no one realized that one bag was full of my wet pants.
To this day, no one but me knows that happened.
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