Fake Flusher...

 As a female, the most horrific thing that can happen is the combination of a bad pooping experience combined with that particular time of the month.

I was in a public restroom and had just finished having a good shit, when I discovered there was only one or two squares of toilet paper in my stall.  That's a bummer considering I also had my period.  I used what was there and then waited till I heard the last person leave, and quickly waddled over to an adjoining stall, pants around my ankles, to retrieve several fistfulls of additional paper.  Once I felt I had properly cleaned myself and was ready to pull up my knickers, lo and behold, the flusher wouldn't budge.  What the...?

I looked at what lay in the bowl, and it can best be described as pure carnage.  Imagine the awfulness of the average dump, combined with so much blood that it looked like the slaughtering of someone's actual bowels took place in the bowl.

Thank God Almighty I was still alone in the restroom at this time and I made a lightning quick decision.  I would hoist up my pants and get out of the stall as quickly as possible before anyone else came in.  Imagine someone waiting on you while you exit your stall, and then trying to explain why they cannot use that toilet.

Just in time I made it to the sink and was washing my hands when a drove of women came in and proceeded to fill all the stalls.  But not before I first confidently informed them that they should avoid that particular stall.  I said that some foul individual had not flushed the toilet after they used it.  One woman looked in and shrieked.  "What the?.....How disgusting!"  Another looked in and swore.  "What are people coming to these days?", another one wondered.  I wholeheartedly agreed with them all while I finished drying my hands, never having once lied while completely getting away with my predicament.